Hello lovelies! August has came and gone before my very eyes. My son started back to school as a first grader which is WILD. He will always be my tiny little baby angel but when they say kids grow up in the blink of an eye, it's true. He has acclimated well and likes his teacher so fingers crossed he has a great year! I had my first preliminary this month as well. We opened the season with Miss Gay Metropolitan America, with Trixie LaRue as the promoter. Trixie went above and beyond to welcome me and keep me in line. Congratulations to your new Miss Gay Metropolitan America, Venus O'Hara and her 1st alternate, Angel Sedique!! What a fabulous team they will be at state! Metro, was my first prelim and also a learning experience for me. I made several notes as it commenced lol and sometimes things just can't help but go wrong. Little things like my tooth brush falling in the toilet at the hotel, a dress that I had taken in didn't fit, I brought no back up options so I had to borrow a dress to sit at the judges table. Shoutout to Kaycee Adam's for being a sister and lending me a dress! We were a little crunched on time with events going on at the venue before and after the pageant so we definitely had to keep things moving! I can be a bit of a perfectionist especially when it comes to my look and I was running like a chicken with its head cut off. Miss Gay Missouri America has DUTIES, honey, and you have to be prepared to be at certain places at certain times and when I got done with my first number I had to change to sit at the judges table for the pageant to begin and baby, I was sweating. My forehead makeup was gone, I had to borrow a dress because the one I brought didn't fit, I had no time to change shoes so I wore black thigh high boots that I wore for my number, threw a wig on and the crown and off I went. These things might not sound big to some but I always want to look my best and represent excellence in the best way and I felt like a hodge-podge troglodyte sweaty mess lmao. It was fine though. I did my job and the pageant went on and I LEARNED. I also got to spend quite a bit of time with #49, Akasha Royale. She was a judge and we got to go to lunch and out for drinks and she even surprised me with a lovely gift basket full of letters from formers, special trinkets, and things I would need to help me reign as successfully as possible. It was so sweet and I enjoyed seeing that side of her. You may go into the competition thinking you're fully ready for the job that is Miss Gay Missouri America but you really don't know what it's like until you actually do it. The one who filled the shoes before you will play a role in your reign and be a guide for you. I am thankful to have an amazing guide and a coven of sisters that love and respect me and have my back. I learned from my mistakes and I am making sure to be more prepared and polished then I was the last time but I am human and I am sure there will be many other things that will arise as I reign but each time I'll be more prepared than I was the time before. Onward and upward into my reign. Til next time... Xoxo, The 50th, Miss Gay Missouri America, Vivian Versace
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One thing MGMA has done for me that I never thought it would, is healing my heart ❤️🩹. I didn't have the best childhood and I didn't always feel loved or valued for who I was. For the longest time I hid who I truly was and wasn't living my truth. I dressed how I thought a heterosexual boy would dress, I did things that would get me attention from my father and that would "toughen me up" like football and other sports. I really tried to watch how I talked and walked because I just wanted to blend in and be "normal" and that in a way, was traumatizing. When there was unbeknownst moments of me expressing who I actually was, I would get corrected. "Boys don't do that." Eventually I got tired of hiding and lying and came out and fast forward to now, I am happily married with a beautiful child that I never thought I would have. I've got my three fur babies, friends and family and community that support myself, and accepts me. Now, I have even accomplished one of my biggest adult dreams. I am MGMA, the 50th one at that. Being the reigning symbol of excellence and having a platform to share my achievements, hopes and dreams and cultivate something amazing for the future is healing to say the least. Whereas I used to get reprimanded and self loathe, I now am getting support and love and reassurance that I am doing a good job from people that I have looked up to for years. Someone in my community of Saint Joseph actually handmade me a doll that is sporting a look I wore in the last show she saw me in. The fact that she took the time to give me this kind and creative gesture is just so heart warming. The messages from fellow queens I've worked with wanting to compete this year because I inspire them...it touches my heart and in conclusion, this is one of the most extraordinary honors I have had and it's helped heal my younger self and my heart. MGMA, my sisters, board members, promoters, family and friends and my upcoming class of 2025, and all of my supporters...it truly is like a family and I am forever grateful. Trauma tends to stick around and dim some of your better personality traits but loving yourself and allowing others to love you is healing. When you heal you grow. If you grow you're thriving, honey. Take the chances because if you don't try, you'll never know how it could absolutely change your life. Don't forget our current prelim schedule has been released! Contact me for more information. Much more coming. Keep watching.👀
XOXO, Viv 💋 The 50th. 👑 |
Vivian's VoiceThis is the official newsletter of the 50th Miss Gay Missouri America, Vivian Versace. Archives
August 2024
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