Hello and happy March! 

When I moved to Missouri fifteen years ago, I knew that I wanted to make a splash with my drag but I had no idea that I would have the opportunity to flourish as much as I did. Just after I was given my first big opportunities, a well-known KC queen, Flo, leveled my ego out by telling me what she observed. With hopes of giving me clarity, she said, "You don't even know what you have." I was befuddled by this but after thinking about it, I realized that it was meant to motivate me. It was meant for me to consider what I had been given and use it for entertainment, yes, but also for guidance, kindness, and encouraging people just like me. 

Shortly after, I was shown the Miss Gay America pageant system and the rest of history played out. I was able to recall my talents and intellect with humility because of Flo's tailored message. Eleven years and four competition attempts later, I had learned a great deal and I had won the title of Miss Gay Missouri America 2022.

Now that my reign is nearly over, I'm compelled to reflect on what I've learned. I want to honor it because once I was put in the position of leadership, all I had left to do is learn.

​I learned that if I worked hard and held the title of MGMA up to my best ability, the forever MGMA title holders will recognize it and respect me for it. They will respect hard work because they recall the work they put into winning and reigning. I was lucky enough to be followed by every living MGMA and encouraged by their insights. It's something I will always cherish and I will never forget. 

I learned that when I'm in the position of prominence, there are unique situations that will test me. This year I faced situations that were out of my scope of control but, as the crown wearer, I was expected to address the concerned in all situations. In this case, I learned that treating a difficult situation with altruism rather than disdainful piety, will always work best. Further, as queer people, we are prone to challenge those in the position of prominence, yes, but there comes a time when we realize the prominent are working with us, not against us.

I learned that audiences will celebrate the MGMA title everywhere—our fans run deep and it is a real joy to witness. In every venue, in every city, and at Miss Gay America, the Missouri America title is honored for being a notable and recognizable institution and nothing can shake that in the hearts of the fans. It's a very special element to the MGMA title and one that every member of the family can celebrate. 

I learned that the lasting quality of our art form is the exact same lasting quality that our family possesses. To look upon the individuals involved with our pageant, you'll see family members step into activity, step out of activity, and sometimes step back into activity. This evolution is different for every family member but the extra-special love of MGMA is what keeps our family.

I learned that MGMA is an unshakeable entity. It is fractured and sometimes difficult to navigate, but it will always stand for history and making the best of the people of Missouri. The queens that uphold and have upheld it for decades, know that it will go nowhere but carry on if we put our love of art, love of family, and honest hearts into it. Applying my honest heart to my work is the thing I learned to cherish the most. 

As for our contestants, I learned that the passion for our art form is alive and thriving in our state. The queens in the Class of 2023 have an incredible range of experiences that bring vibrancy to our pageant. They are creative, motivated, wildly talented, and on top of it all, they are BEAUTIFUL--some of the most beautiful female impersonators with whom I have had privilege of collaborating. What they will show our audiences and judges at the 2023 pageant will be nothing short of inspiring. 

To Miss Gay Missouri America 2023, you will learn. There's no other way to take this on but to know that you will learn. And you will enjoy learning just as I did and as did all 47 other MGMAs. 

Love,
Tajma Stetson
​Miss Gay Missouri America 2022

Two weeks after my trip to Columbia for Mid-MO and I was back to join a very special queen, Miss Veronika Versace. She is not only the promoter of MIss Gay City of Columbia, but holds an interest and reverence for pageantry much like I do. She's a high-achieving individual in everything she does taking great care of her work and the people that are involved. With so many friends in attendance, I couldn't help but have a blast! Jennicka Fierce (celebrating a milestone 10 years since being crowned MGCoCA), Musica Malone (the reigning Missouri EOY), and Amanda Lay (traveling all the way from Oregon) were all there to celebrate Miss Venus O'Hara's hand down complete with Beauty and the Beast costumery at its best. Also, it was extra special for me to have a great friend there, Miss Reba Lamkey. She is not only a supporter of the dignity of the America system but a supporter of mine and to her I could never be more grateful to have her at Miss City that particular weekend. ​

​Trust in timing.

The timing for my final experience as a contestant at Miss Gay Missouri was driven by timing—some calculated by me and some by life’s timing. I was inspired in my early years as a drag performer and as a Kansas Citian to enter a local MGMA prelim by encouragement from energized individuals who helped me believe that I could be successful in pageantry. They showed me that using my intelligence, my stage performance experience, and my bravery would pay off—and it did. But a big part of my being crowned Miss Gay Missouri America 2022 was timing.

GROWTH
After competing three times and placing first alternate each time, I knew I needed to step away and gain some perspective about why I wanted to accomplish such a big goal. I knew I needed to get my timing together. Once I took a break, I ended up with a better perspective and managed to see growth in myself. I grew as a stage performer, I grew as a citizen of my community, I grew as a professional, I grew as a musician, and I grew as a committed competitor. I now see myself as an active member of the pageant community striving, as Miss Gay Missouri America, to introduce myself to the top tier of Miss Gay America contestants.  ​

MATURITY
It's one thing to hit the ground running as a brave young queen breaking records, dazzling onstage, winning contests, and growing a fan base, but only timing will provide proper maturity. It takes a level of maturity to recognize that perfection is not demanded and that approachability is much more important. It's the maturity, not age, of a queen that sets her apart in competition and in the grand scheme of life's happiness. And if we truly allow ourselves to be patient, time will show us ways to mature that are unique to ourselves. 

GRATITUDE
The timing of my claim to the MGMA title also gained me a greater appreciation for the title—the job. When coming into competition, I realized that I knew the job of MGMA better than I ever thought I knew it. Now that I'm reigning, it's much more exciting than I thought in the interview chair but at least the timing had given the growth of perspective and the maturity as a drag artist to have the fortitude to say, "I want this job because I have what it takes to do it." 

I hope you’ll reflect on what timing has done for you. I think you’ll find moments of growth, maturity, and gratitude. I also think you’ll find ways to be patient about your future endeavors. Maybe you’ll find yourself with new focus on your goals. 

In good time, 
Tajma Stetson
Miss Gay Missouri America 2022

PROGRESS

Our whole lives we're encouraged to progress. In school we progress through learning the basics, then intermediates, then advanced levels; in our personal lives we progress through maturing relationships with family, friends, and loves; in society we progress our rights and the humanistic values that make our world and our neighbor's world a better place. It's a mark of personal growth to progress and it's a mark of personal pride to progress too. 

It is a lifetime honor to be crowned Miss Gay Missouri America and, yes, I count it as major progress. After competing and learning for years, my consideration of progress was to enter MGMA again to register my progress with an expert panel, well-qualified competitors, and mostly myself. I knew that to figure out what progress I had made in pageantry was going to be difficult, but I knew that what I would learn from the experience--win, place, or show--was going to hold a very real mirror to my evolution.

Was I going to positively appreciate what came of myself and my performance if I did not take the crown? Was I going to stew on the ways that I gave away points by not considering every nuance of my performance, every syllable of my interview and onstage answer? Yes, I was going to do that. But I also challenged myself to let the chips fall and consider what progress I made to be present at MGMA 2022 no matter the outcome.

Now today, I'm considering my progress again with preparations for Miss Gay America. As exciting as it is, I want to focus on how I take myself and my elements to the grandest competition as a road of progress. I want to consider my progress and take pride in what I have accomplished. Then I'll be able to show the panel my real self in interview, I'll be able to shine in evening gown, and in talent I'll play my clarinet with nothing held back because I'll be present to show off my passionate progress. 

I challenge you to consider your progress. One of the reasons why I feel strongly about this mode of self-evaluation is because of a bit of encouragement I received in my day job recently. I was encouraged to consider my progress from yesterday to today. Was I better than only yesterday? Surely, I can think of how I progressed (or regressed) in the span in just 24 hours. That made me think that, yes, it is very important to have goals so as to plan where you're going, but you will only get there if you consider your incremental progress. 

Consider it as you think of your next step in competition. For my dazzling sisters vying for the position of Miss Gay Missouri America, have you thought about the way your prelim will progress you forward? Have you thought about how you'll progress that prelim pageant by running or even winning? Have you thought about how your personal story of progress will be what wins MGMA for you? Well, I did. My honest heart was never forgotten for one moment in the interview chair nor on the Arts Asylum stage as I competed while showing my progress. It was not easy--it never is. But it is always worth it. 

Help me progress and I'll help you.

With much encouragement,
Tajma Stetson
Miss Gay Missouri America 2022

​Bar:PM, St. Louis

The current iteration of this near-to-the-river street-level space in St. Louis is just under 10 years of being called BarPM where you can find all types. BarPM is the brain-child of James and Chad who have transformed this hard wood floor galley bar into a fun spot truly meant for everyone. The drag shows are of the highest quality, the newly expanded back patio bar is something only seen in a resort bar, and the events that range from benefitting many St. Louis causes to fetish parties, are some of the most fun I have ever had in a harness. I feel such a welcoming spirit every time I visit and, even more, I feel incredible energy from the audience every time I hit the cabaret stage. Personally, James and Chad have shown me such friendship, love, and support long before I became Miss Gay Missouri as they have many MGMA title holders that have come before me. In fact, so many former MGMAs love BarPM that when I was in St. Louis for Pride and visited BarPM, there were six of us there! Needless to say, BarPM provided an incredible night for us all that night. 

​STONEWALL, New York City

I need not tell you how The Stonewall Inn has served a global community from Christopher Street in New York City since 1966 when it was first turned into a gay bar. First called the Stonewall Inn in 1930, it had no idea as to what kind of history it would contribute and what kind of significance it would have after a series of riots paved the way for LGBTQIA+ voices to forcibly be heard beginning in 1969. And as of this day, it's inner walls and the monument outside it's front door reflect the truly-lived lives of countless individuals across the globe. When I was there with New Yorker and Miss Gay United States 2018 Aaliyah Martinez, we were celebrating the win of the newly crowned Miss Gay United States at Large 2018 Moltyn Decadence and Stonewall was the perfect place to drink, dance, and magnify Moltyn's achievement. No visit to NYC could be complete without seeing The Stonewall Inn.

MISSIE B's, Kansas City

My home bar is known by everyone in Kansas City. Ok, maybe not all citizens of Kansas City know what Missie B's is, but most people with a working knowledge of KC will tell you that Missie's is the known place to boogie all night and see a sickning show. Opened in 1994 by Michael Burns a.k.a. Missie B, it boasts of two stories, two dance floors, seven bars, legendary bartenders, a fabulous show room, a frisky leather shop (where you might leave your undies), a working indie theatre, and hundreds of my close personal friends, Missie's has been my home for 11 years. I'm proud to say, like anyone's home, it has seen me at my best and my worst. HA! There, I have found love and lost love, I have shed tears of sorrow and joy, and I will continue to show people how it has changed my life. Illustrious performers and queens have worked there including KC stage icon Sandy Kaye, former Miss Gay America Victoria DePaula, my dear friend and mentor Loretta Martin, and the queen who gave me my start in KC, Belle Starr. These names are only a very few considering the innumerable entertainers that have changed my life and given me inspiration, makeup tips, cussing-outs, slaps in the face (when I needed them), and unending love. And when I returned home after being crowned Miss Gay Missouri, it wasn't only the fanfare and the shows that made me be proud to bring my achievment home but the hugs and kisses of pride and encouragement that I continue to receive every time I step foot inside. 

I hope you feel connected your home bar(s) too. I hope you'll make it known to your community that there is a place you love where you can feel accepted for who you are, a place where you can applaud your fellow performers and watch them grow, a place where you can booze and boogie, and a place to call your home away from home. As Miss Gay Missouri America, I will get the humble privilege to see many of these sacred places all over Missouri, these gay bars, and when I do, I'll feel the love that cultivates and connects our family. 

CHEERS, QUEERS!

ARTISTRY  

In my experience with drag artistry, I have made significant discoveries about myself. I know that my personality is so closely linked to my drag persona that what I present and who I am in the form of Tajma is a direct extension of my inspired intellect and my whole spirit.  

A STORY 

As a kid I started playing clarinet at 9 years old, I was singing (loudly) in church, I was listening to all kinds of music (Mariah, Madonna, Mozart, and Motley Crue). This is when I fell in love with music. Not only was I in love with music, the sound, the feeling, the experience, but I was in love with musicians. The artists behind the music-making were UNTOUCHABLE gods among humans because I had no mental connection as to how they made the music happen. How did they make those sounds? How do the sounds make me feel so heightened? What is the artistic process by which they transform nothing into brain power, through instrument and voice, to make such brilliance? It must be what they call ART! 
 
Once I became engrossed in making my own music, I understood a bit more. I came to understand how making sounds made me feel and how it made an audience feel. Even though it was not always good, I was beginning to sense what it was like to produce art and I was becoming an artist with an artistic process. My process became the way I could keep or tell secrets about my life, and it has been that way ever since. 
 
I followed my music instincts through school and ended up with an education in music that showed me countless artists that expanded the definition of artist. In depth, I studied performers, composers, their works, theory, music history, and played with young artists that were just like me in aspiration. We learned our crafts through diligent practice and performance but also learned what it is to cultivate a standard for ourselves as artists. We wanted to make art out of what we were as people and what we were experiencing.  
 
Later, I came to know drag artists and I, like so many before, began exploring that vast and FABULOUS world. I found that my connection to it was beyond the love of sequins and spotlights--it was the artistic experience. It was expressing my life through the art of drag. It wasn't until later that I realized the attachment I had to my drag was because it was, like my music, a spiritual outgrowth of my personality. I had engrossed myself so much in my expression and presence as a drag artist, that it became my life. In that time, I recalled being a 9-year-old feeling joy and purpose each time I played my clarinet. And because of it, my clarinet artistry has been elevated to more than I could have imagined.  
 
I'm telling you this because there is no exacting way to become an artist or make art. There are countless ways, and they depend on YOUR love of YOUR art. I may not be the only principal-seated, nationally-titled, clarinet-playing drag performer on their way to Miss Gay America that you know, but I love my art and that makes me an artist. 
 
In your search for what you want to make your art, consider some words that I have found to be a guide for me: “An artist is NEVER REQUIRED to consider their audience, only their own heart.” It can be a goal to make an impression and/or reaction with your art but nothing about artistry demands the presence of an audience or its response. I encourage you to own your artistic standards. They will elevate your power as an artist, mold your intellect with your inspiration, and legitimize your art in the heart of your most important audience--yourself. 
 
Living an artful life,

Tajma Stetson
MISS GAY MISSOURI AMERICA 2022

Hello, All!

It's PRIDE month and it thrills me to see non-queer people everywhere take notice of our VISIBILITY--the main reason for this special time. We walk in parades, we hold festivals small, large, and humongous, we display the most noticeable colors, and we make noise about it. Those of us that have seen PRIDE month come and go for many years, still get a thrill at its return and even the most cynical know the need we have for VISIBILITY. 

One thing I'm going to challenge you to do, as I have for myself, is forget about things that stand in your way of truly enjoying your PRIDE festival. Forget about the summer heat, forget about what others are doing, forget about getting turnt right away, and enjoy a moment of PRIDE for yourself. Enjoy the knowledge that this is intended to be a judgment-free celebration. Concentrate on what it must feel like to experience real joy (perhaps just as it was at your first PRIDE) and see to it that your gratitude is focused on the meaning of the moment. Finally, make yourself visible--with your outfits, your songs, your speech, and encourage others to feel the moment. In fact, insist on others knowing that this is FOR US!

Think of this--it would be a different type of month and feeling if we were able to maintain lives as average citizens with freedoms to live as we like, marry as we like, procreate and parent as we like, and love as we like; but most of our world sees us "alternative," "hedonistic," and "wrong." This notion, however, makes me appreciate and relish how SPECIAL I am. To have people set aside my life because I'm gay is cruel, but conversely, it means I can have things all my own--my style, my language, my hangouts, my chosen family, etc. 

This sectioning shows me that exclusivity is not always a bad thing. Personally, it is something that helps me recognize the PRIDE that I possess as a queer individual. It helps me identify and magnify elements of myself that are unique to me and only me. However, for some, it magnifies their loneliness--it feels like separation and although that feeling is valid, it is our job to help those that feel alienated to recognize that they can be seen. And that is why PRIDE month/year/lifetime must exist. To provide hope, perspective, and validate those that feel unloved. PRIDE shows that strength in community is necessary, needed, and wanted. 

I hope you'll celebrate your unique Pride this month and when you look back on PRIDE 2022, I hope you'll remember what you did to make it VISIBLE. You'll feel good and you'll encourage your family, chosen and otherwise, to see you for you. And as a wonderful byproduct, you'll help someone realize that they, like you, can have comfort in their queerness. 

I'm thrilled to get to celebrate at five (and counting) PRIDE festivals and shows this year:

• The Jazzagals PRIDE Show (June 8th)
• Kansas City PRIDE Weekend (June 10th-12th), 
• Columbia PRIDE pageant (June 24th)
• St. Louis PRIDE Weekend (June 24th-26th), and 
• Joplin PRIDE Weekend (September 10th-11th). 

​
I hope you'll find me at each of these events so we can have a laugh, snap a selfie, and CELEBRATE PRIDE TOGETHER!